Reality Check

1) It was almost two weeks past since my vacation to Sydney.
2) I have wanted to produce some writing about my thoughts and feeling on what I gain and experience as well as the after match thought.
3) The mundane lifestyle and busy working schedule had literally swallow a big part of me as it was working-sleeping-working-sleeping routine at a day to day basic.
4) Recap on my trip, on the day before I left, I went for the famous Bondi - Cogee coastal walk. One has to experience it to believe it. The magnificent seaview and the sky. Both joining at the end of the horizon forming an endless line. The cloudless sky with the blue ocean instantly recharges my energy to finish this 3hours walk. The luck is on my side as I got to witness both dolphins and whales. Such a majestic creature, cruising gracefully, everyone was amazed with this precious moment.
5) I spend the afternoon reading by the beach, enjoying the breeze and the view. Where is there a better place to read?
6) I met up with her for a ramen dinner. Funny enough I am the one who ordered spicy noodles and I don't regret it. It was hot and frankly I had underestimated it. The dinner completes with ice cream next door. Something new that I learned about her is that she can't take mango. It seems that we both had never try any mango desert cafe or juice... most probably most of our meets are in cafe or restaurant.
7) After some groceries shopping, she went back to her office to meet up with her boss. We shop for some fruit juice at IGA after her meeting and bid farewell. It was rather brief, like we going to meet rather soon. Nevertheless, I enjoyed every moment now and then with her.
8) She seems really enjoying her life there, of course there are so many challenges and difficulties she had to face but yet she grew up to it and hopefully she can reap the fruits soon enough. May luck shine on her and I wish her all the best.
9) Never picture that I have such opportunity to know her life and environment, after all this years, the odds is actually pretty small. There is just so many unforeseen and unplanned things happened everyday as life unfolds itself to us. We can only cherish and hold on to every moment now.
10) As I returned to work, the great contrast between now and trip is rather like a reality check. I don't have dinner companion, there isn't so many poster quality view around, the weather is rather humid and hot here and she is a many hours ahead.
11) It will be the beginning of the last 61days of 2016 tomorrow. Buckle up and let us sail it through.

Live-ability

1) Of course, with human ultra ability to adapt, we can almost survive and in fact adapt into different life condition and circumstances.

2) From my past two days observation and chatting with my friends, I strongly felt that Sydney is a great city, with a very balance and good mixture of things which are deemed important for me. E.g. The balance lifestyle, the culture and value of the people, proximity to the sea and the breath-taking view, not so busy city life, good quality of food around ( I had tried Korean, Chinese, Vietnam and home cooked food, haha, and will be trying ramen tomorrow) and the weather.

3) Like what she said it is hard to not love here.

4) I am grateful for SuenChi and Howie for their warm hospitality, hosting me, bringing me around Canbramatta and also met up with SuenChi's family. It seems rather like a Subang Jaya gathering. Haha, it is good and warm.

5) And, finally I get to meet Tim today. I understand that she is busy, and I am also very grateful that she still making effort to meet up with me. Too bad that I am not able to join her cLass as I would really love to see it personally. After all, this trip is more about visiting her in Sydney.

6) We had a walk around her campus, she showed me around the usual path she took, her office, her favorite coffee spot, the purple flower tree that I had always loved, some of the scenic view in the campus as well as telling me stories about her life in this campus. 

7) I recalled the trip we had 7years ago back to her primary school in Kulai, the feeling seems familiar.

8) I didn't talk much, just trying to enjoy every moment now and then. Yes, it is all magnificent, and the weather became Sunny after drizzling for most of the day, which was perfect for the tour around the campus. Now I can imagine and apply the stories she told me with the location and proper context.

9) We had our dinner at a Hu Nan Restaurant nearby the campus. The food is crazily nice, again is it because of her or the food I wonder. But, I am still very conscious, the dish is just too oily, typical China food. Ironically, tasty but oily.

10) We then has a small drink back at her campus before we retired. As time flies, we have also aged. Now we choose to use beer to replace the mamak(yum cha). 

11) Here and now, I truly enjoy every moment with her. 

12) There is a short phrase that I had wrote with reference to the feeling while eating the ice cream, while enjoying the view of the opera house, under the breeze wind with romantic background music.

迎面海景，凉风飘逸，

小小的雪糕，大大的梦想，

动听的旋律，还有你的陪伴，

此刻犹如永恒，此时就是永久。

对的人，事，物，时间，地点；

此时此刻，

还有什么遗憾与牵挂，

还有什么烦恼与痛苦；

知足常乐，感恩还有那么一个你。

吹吹海风，吃吃雪糕，乐哉乐哉,

所谓生活不过就是希望这样而已。

Western World in Asia Pacific

1) It was my first visit to a place outside of Asia. Many new experiences to be felt and told about.

2) I have to blog this as memory tends to fail me at times.

3) The 8hours long flight was smooth and I boarded the train to CBD Sydney after getting a Yes Oparus line which is surprisingly cheap at $2/day, and an Opal card like the EZLink card.

4) Was abit lost initially on my way to my backpack hostel. Thanks for my old faithful Nokia phone and some beginner luck, I manage to get to the destination, it just seems like appeared in front of me.

5) Spend some time walking around street and realized that all the items are considered expensive after conversion; but relatively cheap if compared a dollar to a dollar.

6) The next Morning I spend sometime to finish up my office work before meeting up with Tim at the Town Hall. We had very special cake (in conjunction with our birthday) with watermelon in between layers of cream, bottom layered with cookies, top with strawberries and sprinkle with rose petal at the very top. It was a 100% WoW on the rich taste. The goodness of it, is not something comprehensible until you try it yourself.

7) After that we had a long walk to the famous Sydney Opera House. The magnificent building together with the harbor view is breath-taking. We went around for a short walk enjoying the view. It was really relaxing and fun. We had some nice chat by the sea, and a 'famous' ice cream according to Tim hahaha!! It's all nice and wonderful.

8) We then took a ferry ride to Darling Harbour cruising under the Harbour Bridge and enjoying the splendid view of Sydney. It was stunning and a view to die for.

9) Our dinner location is a Korea Restaurant nearby China Town which Tim has always wanted to visit. I finally took beef which taste surprisingly good. The food is really tasty and I wonder was it due to the partner or it is just purely good food. I like the service attitude of the staffs there and the price is very reasonable.

10) Next we went to Coles Supermarket, it was a really good experience to shop with Tim. I like the idea of doing grocery shopping with her, knowing what she likes and buys, participating in her life. We then took a bus ride back to her campus and after I sent her off, I was then back to my hostel.

11) Despte it was only the second time walking back to my hostel, it was already all too familiar. I have yet to plan what to do tmr as Tim is busy with her proposal. Will only see her again joining her class on coming Monday. 

12) I am now blogging after did some reading.Sleeping soon as it is about 1am local time.

生命之旅

记忆里的小时候, 就非常的贪吃,爱闹,爱哭,喜欢看电视;

回忆起中学时期, 就喜欢跟大队,打球,看戏,到处探探险;

想起大学的日子, 每天都忙碌活动, 朋友圈子大,生活多姿多彩;

刚步入社会工作, 对过去有些释怀, 很多要学习, 每一步都新鲜;

渐渐的长大成熟, 明白了什么叫现实, 什么叫残酷, 生活还是如常延进;

迈入了三十岁后, 才开始领悟与体会, 沉静与明志, 清心寡欲的重要性;

展望未来的日子, 家庭事业生活体验, 每一块都是生命的拼图, 每一块都重要;

追寻生命的意义, 像迷一般的可能性, 每一次的决定都可改变, 下一刻的未来.

这就是生命之旅; 一段奇妙的旅程 

The Sixth Anniversary

1) Olympic was over, Mourinho is now ManU coach, Tan Sri Zety retired as our Bank Govenor and internal candidate has replaced her, Harlem Yu just got married again at the age of 55, the ownership structure of the company I worked changed just a month ago, I had finished my Master, and my parents are on their expatriate duty to Sibu (taking care of their granddaughter as my sister was posted there).

2) Many had changed over the end of last year till date. I cannot give a clear account on all the changes but one thing stay pure and true to the hearts, is my physical size, sadly or ashamely I am still on a XXL mode. Haha

3) It was my 6th anniversary today. The decision I made of shifting to Penang 6years ago. First question comes into my mind, have I ever regretted such decision? 6 years down the road, and what have I learn and come to experience?

4) It is no longer a question about regret or not, it is more about the outcome, the experience and the life lesson that I have learned which matter the most I supposed. So much had happened and I have aged as life events unfold in my life.

5) I learned to cherish life more, my family and friends. I has learned to be more understandable and understanding. I knew how to live in a solitude life without getting lonely, but undeniably I still need my friends and family in my life. I faced the demon side of myself with a more open heart, I seek to untangle myself within myself, the ever wanting and demanding self for attention and care, the insatiable sense of controlling over others. As a whole, try to take life not so seriously but yet in a very positive manner.

6) It may seems rather complicated as I put all the feelings I had into words, but the essence is separated into two part. The word "This too shall passed" and "The is-ness of life" summarized the first part. To be happy or to be able to experience any positive experience in life we have go with the flow of life but not the counter flow direction. The second part is about withdrew from judging others as well as self judging. Often times we use our own internal ruler to measure others, about what others should and shouldn't do or behave; much of the suffering arises as we deem others to be out of our own measurement or judgement. We expect or requires others to behave in a way we thinks it is a norm. Ironically the new norm is our own norm, the subjective norm. Hence, stop judging and measuring. Only then we will have true liberation and lightness in our life. As there will be no two identical people in this world, and even the twins also behave differently. Hence , stop judging and measuring. Even if we insisted to judge and measure others, deems others as ungrateful, useless, not worthy, or of no significance, does that actually change anything on the fact and event that already occured? No changes will happened as it was already past. Hence, stop judging and measuring.

7) I am blogging in Kaffa with live singing while waiting for my movie. It was such a relaxing and pleasure moment which I really cherish. The reality is subjective actually, depending how we want to perceive it and which side we want to accept it. Today I have decided that this moment is a great moment, a happy one despite spending it all alone but I have great music, comfortable environment, cute little kids running around me, a stunning gal sitting across my table (although her father is blocking some of my view), I had a fair fried rice and ice lemon tea, and I have a movie to catch up. I am contended to be able to perceive all of this and experience it now.

Inspiring Moment

1. Two inspiring moments that i wish to note down here in my journals of life.
2. The first one is on my backpacker experience in Ipoh. Out of the blue, i have decided to spend a night in one of the backpacker lounge in Ipoh. By chance, i had met a few very young friends, from China, Malaysia and Canada. Their youthful and adventurous spirit had very much awaken the younger side of me which had went hibernation some time ago. 
3. Meeting up with new friends that we may never come across in our daily routines life is all inspiring. Listening to their journeys, their life stories, and how we share the commons and the differences just make us renew and rejoice, a true celebration for us, the earthlings (inhabitants of Earth). Essentially, i felt it is the hope that shines in everyone's eyes that fuel the whole dynamics and the spirit within. It is not the mere pathetic hope of becoming the famous and rich, but the hope to see life unfolding, the adventures, the ups and downs that completes the book of life.
4. This moment as i recorded, as the endless possibilities. It is not about good or bad eventualities, but rather, the possibilities itself. Such as the event of meeting someone who i may never knew in my whole life if not because of that peculiar moment, the judgment, the action. Again, no good nor bad, just the event itself. A pure celebration of life.
5. Somehow the second moment i wish to share here coincides with the first one. Perhaps, it is how i wish to link and feel it. Our beloved Dato Lee had spent his last 12 years, flying our flag high challenging hard to claim the first Olympic Gold for fellow Malaysians. Yesterday night, in his hard fought journey to his final (defeating his nemesis LinDan), he had failed to claim that glorious award that all Malaysians are craving for. 
6. There is no regret, perhaps, the feat of three finals (Mixed Double Final, Man's Double Final, Man's Single Final) for Malaysia which all ended in Silver medals are a run of bad lucks. Nevertheless, the other side of the coin is, we are there among the world best, fighting at the highest level despite failing to claim the ultimate prize. Maybe many others will felt that, this is just the loser's mindset, self-comforting words just to ease our sense of lost.
7. What i had learned thus far as i had come to the age of 31 is, reality is a relative term. There is no absolute reality ever existed. One's reality shape as what one has decided. Taking for an example,  the last mile run for someone who was wounded felt like a full marathon, whereas for a spirited individual, it felt like a last 100 meter sprint. Ultimately, the reality itself is what we chose to see. Turning back to Dato Lee, what i see is the strong spirit behind of him. Working hard as ever, trying all his might, although in the end, there is no fairy tales endding. Of course everyone wish for a fairy tales ending, turning the 3 silvers to 3 golds for us, but this is life, it happens and it will not stop. We just have to make sure our spirit is not bend down, not short changing ourselves ever. 
8. There was a saying, " Life is not about the destination; but the journey". Thinking back to the achievement that we had in our life thus far, the most rewarding part is actually not the moment when we are finally awarded or attaining it; but it is the struggles, serial challenges, all the hard work that we had put through which makes us who we are and make us stronger and larger than life. Despite having lost all of his major claim on the glorious titles (World Champions / Olympics), for his dedication and never say die attitude,, i deem Dato Lee as a formidable, respectable and inspiring icon for the youth. There is very little to none room left for regret, having worked so hard and striving again and again. We only live once, make it count~

When Crazy is a New Norm

1. The Pokemon Go rush had drove everyone insane, almost. Finally, the technology had broken that threshold, or at least at the most visible level. People are now starting to live in their virtual world. The boundary of reality and virtual reality is fading. We are now looking for Pokemon, Poke-Stop, Pokemon Gym in our common areas. As if all those social medias such as the FaceBook, WeChat, SnapChat, WhatsApp, Twitter have not consume our life enough; and now we have the latest trend, Pokemon Go. 
2. Of course, the goods things are people are going outdoor at least, rather than been a potato couch. Personally, i like this game a lot despite not playing it yet due to the limitation on my museum suited windows phone. By all means, this game will be another sensational games such as the Angry Bird, Clash of Clans, Candy Crush. What really makes this game seems like a real pandemic like threat is the blurring of reality and virtual world.
3. There is no doubt the youngsters nowadays possesses great potential due to better environment and the advancement of technology. Nevertheless, on the other hand, they are also facing great challenges and stress in their daily life. There is huge influx of information everyday, and owing to this, the greater is their need of gratification and weaker is their self-esteem. There are just not enough time left for themselves, to learn and grow, to appreciate who they have become and to be different. Slowly, their sense of identity is engulf and overwhelm by all the trendy things that occurred around them.
4. Perhaps it was the global and inevitable trend. Imaging our lives back then when phone is only for calls or SMS; access to internet is limited, our main leisure is sight seeing, card and board games, and yes, we still write letters to our friends and family.There is a big difference now, in terms of technology advancement. We can video call our friends, we purchase our daily needs over the net, we can place order on the things produce half globe away and expect it to reach within days. My argument has always been that, our mental development is far way behind that the development of infrastructure and technology advancement.
5. By Mental Development, i am referring to one's value of life such as good or bad, right and wrong. In a more spiritual aspects will be our beliefs and ultimately our life purposes.Young children are like a piece of untainted paper. As we adults immerse ourselves in our life to provide, we left the school to do the necessary teaching which is greatly insufficient. The values and our virtues has to be instill by family institution and via our religious center. 
6. It is only by stressing on one's mental development, we can ensure our next generation can cope with this ultra realistic world, to have a healthy and fulfilling life, to both understand and seek for understanding from others, and ultimately to a better future for our next generation.  

遇见十八岁的你,你,和你

年纪尚幼的你, 满怀希望的你, 胸有成竹的你, 天真浪漫的你, 还有; 

提心吊胆的你, 优柔寡断的你, 杞人忧天的你,害怕失去的你;

十八岁的你还有太多的空页要去填满.

胆怯应是你最后的感觉, 激昂应是你的潜意识,

没有绝对的好和坏,对与错, 应该或不应该,

保持着积极的态度, 付出百份之一百的努力,

为自己, 家人, 与社会,

青春不留白, 充实自己.

偶然的挑战, 苦难, 不愉快的, 伤心的,

只是为了让你更加的珍惜当下,

试问世事岂能尽如人意,

 但求无愧于心.

非淡泊无以明志，非宁静无以致远

 "夫君子之行，静以修身，俭以养德。非淡泊无以明志，非宁静无以致远。夫学须静也，才须学也，非学无以广才，非志无以成学。淫慢则不能励精，险躁则不能治性。年与时驰，意与日去，遂成枯落，多不接世，悲守穷庐，将复何及！"

诫子书 诸葛亮

Here come the Wave of Change

Story 1

The wind of change in Klang Valley.

The launching of LRT service to the place i had grew up.

So much of memories, thoughts, and feeling grateful for all of this.

Life no longer the same with this new connectivity.

With new development, new things arises and some others faded off.

Just like the cycle of life and death.

Hopefully this vibrant town shall continue to shine;

 with the spirit of Malaysians; warm, modesty, and great humility.

Story 2

   

This is not the first time this thoughts came across my mind.

Not until i left KL that i realized the beauty of Petronas Twin Tower.

This coincides with the words "We don't know what we have until it's gone"

Some rethinking on our relationship with ourselves, our family and friends.

What are the little important things or people we have take for granted all this while.

Appreciation, gratitude, and be appreciative ~ 

Story 3

  I had visited the Popular Book Fest 2016 twice in two days.

Surprise to meet a lot of "friends" during my visit. 

By friends i meant all the books or authors that i had came across over this few years.

Reading is already my favorite past time now.

It is so natural and so intuitive, seamlessly sync with my life now.

Why do we (have to) Read?

Other than the extra knowledge, perspective, know-how and personal development;

I opined that this activity is a good training,

to counter the fast-pace and high pressure lifestyle in this millennial.

To be able to sit still and concentrate on one task, 

managing and reducing the environmental noise and other distraction.

With the rise of Facebook/WeChat/Whatsapp/Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat/ and many more;

Deliberately or not, we are mostly consumed by such social tools,

We thought we had control on such tools as we are the user,

thinking it again, "they' are actually controlling us.

We are loosing our discretionary time without realizing it.

To be able to concentrate one task at a time deliberately has already become a luxury.

And One more thing ... ...

I had met this street artist just outside of KLCC station;

His singing is in-tune and so is his command of English.

He sings his heart out and won some good stares from fellow shy Malaysians.

When is the last time we had give our very best, our very 100% to what we do, to our life ?

He seems to be in his late fifties and i salute him for his courage and passion.

What will i be in my fifties? 

Living a passionate life or just spending my life away.

LIFE

live it like there is no yesterday;

live it like there is no tomorrow;

live it here and now~

Reunion Day 2

1. The day started with a considerable long journey to the town area to have a very hearty meal at The Toast. Good food, great ambient, fairly price and most of all, having a few companions to chat with, what else can i asked for ?
2. Followed almost immediately by a trip to Jusco. She had spent a fortune there. Suddenly, it is almost like she has turn on her "turbo" button. She move swiftly between the racks of clothing, hopping from shops to shops, her judgement on the variety of clothing, make-up, and skin care products is quick, precise and accurate. On behalf of Malaysians, i thank her for her act of generosity in stimulating our economy.
3. Our reunion highlight is always about this particular chatting / dialogue / point of exchange section. We talked about almost anything that we can think off, but this time around, the topic is rather serious as it was about my future plan. The road not taken. Tossing my coin.
4. It was rather odd actually that we knew someone who is not our twins but can resonate closely on our feelings, opinions, and thinking. She said it was our zodiac, and i am sure we are not twins.
5. Sentimental me recalled upon tonnes of old memories, i have no guts to bid a proper farewell. As goodbye always seems like an eternal separation, a sudden rush of melancholy gushed within me as she dropped me off. Nevertheless, at least for this time, there is a #seeyousoon comforting the aching heart. 
6. And now, back to this realistic world, the cinematic life started to roll again. All the best for everyone and godspeed.

Reunion Day 1

1) I think the best gift I had from her was memory which is a great gift. It is intangible in nature, can never be recreated, nor can it be traded in exchange for something else. 

2) So many pages were already painted with all the events of life, which will take days to recount it. Be it joy, thrill, happiness, or even sadness, it is all an integrated part of my life. Cannot be withdraw or deleted.

3) Good time spent in Kulai today, the activity might be little mundane, but the people that I am with meant everything. I think, in most of the cases, the question is not about what kind of activity, but rather with whom we spend our time with.

4) After a disastrous and crazy work rush, this short trip just serve as the right kind of antidote for me. Reminding and awaken me once more. 

5) Hearing some of the good news from her side, I am thrilled and truly happy for her. Yes, she will play a poker face saying that it is rather all as expected owing to her strong talent and maybe a little bit of hard work. Haha, but make no mistake, it takes one to know one. We can't just explain enough, to make people understand about the hard work and challenges faced when hiking the Everest, only someone who had tried or climbed it, or maybe someone who come close of conquering the top of other lesser mountains might echo with such struggle; the sweat, tears and blood shed over the course of the journey, the attitude and determination is something that will shape our character and our life perspective.

6) It was a reminder for me, for us, for everyone.

Rationality & Limitation

1. Inevitably in life, there is always some limitation. We said sky is the limit, even then literally there is still a limit although it actually meant there is no limit metaphorically.
2. It is the grand idea, the essence of economic where we are always juggling between the limited resources over the unlimited wants and needs. It is the management of the scarcity that constituted the very essence of the whole economy. Hence, there is this debate and quest for excellence in managing, prioritizing our allocation of resources ( time, money, effort, and other tangible / intangible resources) in search for greater efficiency and effectiveness in whatever things that we are committed for.
3. For all this to be workable, we need us, human to be able to maintain our rational thinking at all times. Deciding what is the best for whatever given situations and circumstances. The thing is, we are not always rational. Instead, we tends to be rather irrational in our daily decision. We based our judgment on prior experience, on the things we saw/remembered, our intuition, our beliefs, our feelings, our moods or even in a most ridiculous way that we can imagined=> the weather now!! Hence, it is highly improper for us to depends on human to make the most rational decision when the calling came and especially when the stake is great.
4. We need safe net after safe net, protocol, ISO standard controlled procedures, monitoring, regulation, reporting, fool proof methodology, preventive measure, counter-measure and etc. All these mainly meant for one thing, to avoid human error and yet the result is flip-flop and not totally guaranteed as human is not always rational.
5. To steer clear of all this, we must always be the watcher on ourselves. 
6. As for our limitation, how do we know we have actually reach it ? Is it the point where we have surrender ? Or was it the point where we go crazy / angry / break loose ? I guess ideally the point is before the hell break loose, before everything seems to collapse. 
7. But as we are loading ourselves with challenges, buffing up our confidence and psychology, telling ourselves, we can do it, think positives, be focus on the task; and then how could we tell the exact tipping point where we call it a day ? that we shout SOS ?
8. This remain a very challenging quest for me. The time to keep it going and the right time to quit. 

Awaken

1. No, this is not the episode of spiritual awakening that many might think off.
2. I was nearly awake when i received a text from my friend from a far. The news she brought me makes me fully awaken. Disclaimer : This is based on a true story.
3. The unsung hero, working tirelessly, relentlessly, sacrificing most for the least usually get credited in the movie but not so in real life. With many superheroes movie playing in the theater now and many more to come, it is not uncommon to see this trend fits into human's desire. It is the desire from everyone of us, awaiting for a superhero like figure to save us from our daily dilemma, our life condition or conundrum. Hoping for some sort of salvation at the other end. 
4. A true hero, a warrior for ourselves, is actually us, yes, you~ In order for Changes (regardless good or bad) to happen, very much like the concept of yin and yang where we have to allow things to happen in our life (yin aspect) and doing the things to change our life (yang aspect). We are our own superhero as we are the pilot of our own ship called Life. We have to be accountable, responsible and work hard for ourselves all the time.
5. Ok, the lengthy introduction is to get the reader into the mood. I am always touched and overwhelmed when witnessing how people suffered and thrived on life challenges. The sacrifices and dedication, the sweats, tears and blood shed making the whole emotional story. 
6. Growing up in a single-parent family in most of her childhood, savings money (in a very frugal way) to help to ease her mom's burden, travelling abroad to chase a dream that many sane will deem as insane, living a life where busy is not a just adjective to explain her workloads and superior's expectation. Looking back, it was such a winding trail that she had traveled. Sound like Robert Frost's the road not taken. There are surely more people out there who is even more ill fated than her, yet the key is not on the sufferings, it is on how one walk out of it and be larger than life. 
7. There isn't a correct word that can be used to explain the feeling within when i heard the news; happy / grateful / joy / excited / satisfied / anxious / motivated / contended. Perhaps a mixture of all feelings for i understand the meaning of such achievement to her as i had experienced something similar but at a much lesser extend. This good episode will surely not be the first, nor it will be the last.
8. It was a glorious victory on the battle but there is still a whole war to be won. Yet, but for people like us, we have to learn to appreciate good things, taking good comments, praises and a pat on the shoulder. It is a no-brainer actually, when we talk about receiving good things in life. Why do we have to learn to enjoy the good things? Believe me, it is much harder to receive a good things well than a bad things that has taken place. The reason been we are trained well since young by our culture, our education system or just a social norm that there is no free lunches, good things will turn bad somehow. So, we are fairly prepared for the low blow that might just show up around the corner. Hence, we never really enjoy good things as we have thought or desired. 
9. Let us celebrate the good things and learned from the bad things that happened; and most importantly allow all these to die to the past. Everyday will be a new start, a new beginning, a new now. With this, we carry lesser emotional and mental burden, and channel our energy to current moment that we can make a different in our life and the life of others.
10. To a brand new world !! Set the sail and here we come ~ ~

Busy Busy

1) I wonder if busy is appropriate to explain the work load that I am facing now.

2) Despite all the busy-ness, I keep reminding myself to stay calm, don loose control, stay focus on the job on hand. Although sometime I still think about the reason for the busy-ness, why all the drama, and the blindness within and without when dealing with all this things.

3) in envitably, after all of this, I still need to figure out my next move. What is it that I want to do? My life , my needs and wants and my goals in life.

4) I was now in Koh LiPe , taking this short break to recharge and refresh. Will see what is in the plan.

The Road Ahead

1. I have a sight not long ago. That i am commuting to work, a new environment, colleagues, and new tasks and new challenges.
2. Everything seems so refreshing and nice until i realized it was all nothing but a dream. Nevertheless i knew it was a happy dream. To put it into a more imaginable term, its like eating a bowl of ice kacang under a dreadfully hot sun. Heaven in between but back to earth shortly after.
3. We are talking about more on the experience and qualification; the skills and knowledge. Yet, the things that truly stand out for in my opinion is the character and motivation within. The former is the qualifier but the latter is the decider. Mediocre, competent and excel.
4. The search for the road ahead starts with a clear heart and mind. Too many opportunity and options will only blur the vision so much so that everything turns to muddy condition. 
5. I am writing this to tell myself, the answer is already there, and it is from within. I just need to search and uncover it. Firstly, let's go back to ground zero ... ... 

Sickness

1. Often times we have all read about the placebo effect. How psychology play such a miracle role in curing ailment and diseases. It was only until recently that i have fall sick for a week, combo with fever, flu, and cough, i had tried many placebo treatment like herbal drink, paracetamol, isotonic drinks and Piriton. 
2. I guess it was all haywire, my body and my mind had just decided to call it a day refusing any bit of the treatment. Sickness is one of the nature weapon to stop or slow someone down. As our physical and mental ability slows down, we are make to reduce our daily activity to more rest and sleep. 
3. Of course, i hated when my output went dwindle, my brain heated when i think too much and too fast, my mind body coordination seems to be running on a 486 chips. Nevertheless, the slowness had allowed me to have more time to live my life. I tends to feel the environment more, the time that passes more, about my feeling and need for recovery, the contrasting difference of life then (healthy) and now (sick). I start to have more imagination. What if i am on my death bed? what if i am on my way of leaving this world? We are expecting to recover in a day or two; but at old age, we might just be like this and slowly loosing our very essence of life day over day until we meet our creator.
4. As we age, we learn to behave like a adult, taking up responsibilities, and be more accountable.
5. As we age, we learn to slow ourselves down, accepting things as it is, and be more open to it and stay happy.
6. As we age, we learn to accept the facts, the limitation and the very truth of life.
7. Suddenly, the pursuit of happiness meant so much implicitly but not explicitly. It is so much about inner peace and joy rather that ownership of material stuffs and titles. 
8. It is so much about been healthy and able which is already the best gift from life.

The Noodle Bowl Effect

1. With the world economy getting more integrated than ever, more trade agreements, covenants, framework, trade cartels, collusion, unions and etc were formed in the basic of common goods and benefits. FTAs after FTAs and hence the word spaghetti is coined thus resulting the spaghetti bowl effect. One can observed the similarities between the image left and right to have a clear understanding on the economic term widely used recently due to the discussion of TPP in Malaysia. (Enlightened by a journal paper courtesy of Dr. SK Goh from USM)
2. It is all too similar with my current stage of mind, perhaps the only different is the magnitude; the serving of the spaghetti.
3. The intelligence quest is a no brainer, it constituted most of the meaning i found in my life thus far. The creation of knowledge from the process of data collection, information gathering, analysis and finally the distillation to the elixir we called knowledge.
4. On the other side, there is this internal struggle. On staying in the comfort zone or breaking away from it. It is too often we heard about breaking away from it, to embrace growth, to experience the new and to get a re-start. What about staying put? How about giving the new a try ? The fear of loosing or the bravery to embrace a new ? 
5. We are all seeking for the truth about life, hacking into it for a happy and purposeful life. The realm of social norms, or perhaps the need of oneself to please the people around us, shaping our decision and way of life. Living in the human society, under the obscene monitoring of the realistic eyes, and our primitive desire to compare to be better had all shape our beliefs and our do's and don's. 
6. The hardship is on filtering through the noise; listening to the call from the inner self; looking at the gain and loss not as the finality but as the many events of life. After all, how much we can used ( to eat, to stay, to utilize the physical things we owned) is all limited, bounded by the nature cycle of life and death. The very essence of life lies on the very meaning we find, and if we got the higher knowledge of grasping and understand it.

Gatherings and Sister ROM

1) Festive celebrations always filled with gatherings with family and friends. I guess essentially this is what constituted the celebration.

2) This is a special year where my younger sister went into ROM last Sunday at Thean Hou Temple. During the making vows session, my elder sis, my mom and my younger sis were all reduced to tears. As for me, I felt abit at the end of the whole session. Always a very touching moment, life transition period, looking back the past and setting our sight to the future; how life and our fate had changed over the course of life. I wish them both Ka How and my Sis happy ever after.

3) As I am blogging, it just entered the ninth day of CNY coincided with the "Ti Gong" celebration. Fire crackers could be heard from near and afar. For the hokkien this auspicious day meant much more that the first day of CNY. For people who work at outstation, it is definitely a big trigger on the home sick button.

4) Just had a gathering with our fellow UM friends at New Paris, PJ. It was a good one, looking at how each of us had come to age, speaking about family, career and babies. Most importantly we had all dismissed around 11pm after he dinner and yum cha session. No more late night chatters, 3rd or 4th round, no more gambling session but more to catching up with each other's.

5) I also enjoyed very much the gathering with Sharon and Yee Ching, thanking them for making the effort to meet up despite all already having their significant half. More than 10 years of friendship and it is a real wow. Too many memories to recall and hopefully many more memories to gather too.

6) Of course not forgetting is my Subang kaki, CJ, Vinoth, Suria, Zhang Xin, Alex and Kagu. Haha, thank you for bearing with all my demands for endless monopoly deal session. Seriously I enjoy this game very much. Haha, a good replacement for CS and DOTA which we had all lost touch.

7) The blasting of Fire crackers still going strong now after nearly 30minutes. Hopefully it will be a blast for all of us, peace and joy for everyone.

The Fire Monkey Year

1) And the celebration here at my hometown, Perak is about to come to an end as we will dismiss by tomorrow after brunch. 

2) A familiar yet different feeling this time as all the cousins including myself is slowly aging haha. We no longer play DOTA or CS, and I miss the chit chatting session we used to had, gossiping about little little  things in life like our result, passion, like and dislike, also our crush, lovely stories as well as bitter experience. It was the days when we were not engulf by the life stress, by the mundane problem.

3) With new situation of course here comes the new life experiences. We started to have niece and nephew of our own, cousins getting married bringing along sister-in-law to join force our cny celebration, my sister and younger cousin sister getting married and this will be the last year they will be back here. Things will be more different next year this time.

4) I was reading this book 'Man Search For Meaning' during this CNY. Not finishing it yet, only half way through. About how war prisoners survived from all of the life and death incidents, about how people can live by knowing the WHY in life and thus can handle all the HOW in life. About not living in the past, instead to have some positive expectation in the future. Holistically viewing suffering, pain and death as part of meaning of life. That it is not about what do we expect in life in terms of creative output or enjoyment but rather what life is expecting from us. Our deeds and action in searching on ways that we could fit into life and really living it.

5) Indeed this book might be a bit heavy for the new year but I guess it was a great way to start a new year. When we are strip off everything, our identity, past, occupation and any form of recognition, when we have no control in our action and life, when everyday we have to deal with life or death situation; our dignity, and our capacity as human to feel empathy and humility is challenged and threatened. Our only liberation is only with our mind. Deciding on how do we come to accept things as it happened is only our true liberation. It is not giving up, but rather taking it as it is and opt for a positive action and thinking, in search for our meaning of life. 

The Little Happiness in Life

1. The few weeks before CNY were always the memorable one. A mixed of memories here and there over my life resurfaced specifically during this period of time.
2. I recalled the days where i will travel to the hypermarkets with my dad to shop for the bargains specially offered during this festive period for our Restaurant. The cans drink, beer, Milo etc, trolleys after trolleys until our car can no longer fit in. Those were the days, i recalled profoundly.
3. I recalled the days where i traveled to my roommate Ah Lih's house, visiting his hometown located in Teluk Intan, Perak and then i took a bus back to my own hometown around 1 hour apart.
4. Also the period where i had worked in Sabah. Buying the frozen fishes and prawns for CNY, the CNY songs played in the plane and the excitement and anticipation i felt to go home, to be with my family and friends.
5. The more recent memories are the movie session and reunion lunch i organized with my colleagues here, the gambling session with my Uni and Subang friends, and most of all, the feeling and the atmosphere of getting ready for CNY.
6. It was perhaps with so much good memories which actually fuel up my anticipation for this festive period. It maybe just another ordinary days with family and friends, a gathering but the spirit, the liveliness and the joy is different.
7. I enjoyed shopping for new years goods, for my family, my neighbors and my friends. Things to eat and drink, things to share our happiness. As i had posted in my previous blog post, the act of gifting is especially rewarding, the true joy and happiness.
8. A small secret i planned to reveal here is that i had spend roughly around RM1k for the hamper and supplement goods for my parents, grandma and my two mentor. Another RM200 for the mandarins and drinks for my neighbors and family. Haha i guess, been single, it is a huge amount of money to spend. I thought it is a worthwhile, the process of selecting and buying, and presenting to them all give me great satisfaction and pleasure from participating in the act of kindness.
9. Well, i cannot tell that to my mom, she will be asking me to save the money. Why spending so much? Am i earning ten of thousands of money per month ? How many times i have told you about getting ready for the rainy days? and bla bla bla~ I know and understand all her kind advises, i just felt that, all this is money well spent. For the people that deem important to me.
10. As i age, spending time in hometown is also getting bored. I no longer play computer games, card games and fire crackers. I don't feel that watching TV and drama, or loitering in the shopping centers or throw some tiring visit to relatives are fun too. I will rather have sometime to read, and write, to learn and understand something new or sleep on my own bed. Anyway, it's life right ? All this are just part and parcel of life.
11. Well, it is just a week from now. Let's hope everyone out there will have a fruitful and meaningful year and safe journey for those who travels.

Thinking Again - On Life and Happiness

1. It wasn't something new to me, been labelled as a thinker. Nothing glamorous but more to do with practicality and feasibility. Notice the Again in the title of the blog, yes, thinking of it again and again and again Period.
2. I guess i can't really get rid of this habit of over analyzing and thinking. I can only be mindful on the degree of this mental masturbation that some people called which might cause my inability to carry out necessary action and plan.
3. I like to believe things happened for a reason and there is some power up there that has certain influence on our life. There is this so called plan for us, a purpose for us, a path crafted just for us. Perhaps this will sound familiar with the Christians, where God will have his plan for us.
4. Literally, the aim and the whole purpose of instilling such belief is to ease our compulsive thinking. The insatiable urge to complicates and mystifying things. Misjudge, defying, or for the worse; blaming, condemning and in the end hurting ourselves and the people around us.
5. It was fortunate for me to meet with my two mentor from my post graduate studies at this stage of life. Providing me different opinion and perspective, and most importantly telling me about the endless possibilities in life which taught me to be wiser in the process.
6. The past 6-8 weeks were gloomy mostly with exception only with some occasional sunny days when i met up with people that enlightens me or spending time with my family and friends. I was largely bothered with my next move in life and career. And of course you must have guess that my modus operandi starts to kick in. The compulsive thinking, the analytical and critical mind of mine starts to evaluate and predict the outcomes of the many options that i have in mind. 
7. I have to say that it is not a very good blessing to be a thinker. Even with some clear target or path in sight, i will still wonder here and there, thinking back and forth; to the extend that, sometime i had enough of myself. Actually, this was a real sad case.
8. Life can be pretty simple if we can model it out. To put in a more scientific manner, it is to identify the independent variables ( things in life ) and the dependent variable ( happiness ? contentment ? ). If say we got a good job, good pay and good wife and kids and we are not contended with all these, then perhaps these IVs are not significant to us, or perhaps our DV is not something we ourselves can comprehend. Carefully modelling it out, about our expectation, managing it and be realistic to it will be a helpful guide to a better life. Of course, this is a life long and continuous process. As we aged, and we supposed to be wiser in that sense.
9. For me, perhaps the best advice is to simplify my expectation. Down to the very core, the very root of it. Pareto principle. Interesting analogy given by Dr. J today; If say HAPPINESS = GET / WANT; then what is the easiest / least resistance path for us to achieve happiness ? Of course,  it is to manage our "wants" into "needs". Well in this example, both the DV = Happiness and the IVs = Get and Want is just a very subjective concept but most people can easily relate to with individuals' experience.
10. Job for Living, Learning for Meaning. To combine the both as Tim told me; It will be Living with meaning, it is a dream come true, it is an utopia in living term. 

The New Year Post

1. It seems like already a common practice, writing resolution and evaluating our previous resolution. It was a symbolic act, resembling a new start for a better and purposeful life, and an end to the unwanted habit and unwelcome feelings. And so, this year what will be my resolution ?
2. My resolution is rather more descriptive rather than definitive. More or so is to be wiser as i age, health and happiness for my family, friends and myself. May there be more peace and harmony in this world. Yes, i know, it is too descriptive and random. 
3. I guess this was actually my way of dealing with things, especially the future where i have so little control of it. The target is there, and it is something going on continuously, sound more like a wish rather than a resolution. Haha, yeah, it is a hope actually.
4. Nevertheless if breaking it down and detail carefully, there is still many little resolutions can be derived from. On health, it will be the ultimate goal of slimming down and god knows i had said it for how many years, eating the right food for a healthier body and mind. 
5. On happiness, it might come from many different aspects both internally and externally. Either by achieving something or acquiring something, or be wiser on managing own expectation and feeling contended with what we had. Well, that will required a lot of life wisdom. On job, i wish to land a job or career that enables me to have more exposure and growth. On studies, that largely depends how will my job be, but ultimately, i wish to further my intellectual quest. On relationship, yes, of course if you ask me, i would like to find that someone, but it is still Ok if she cease to appear in my life. Well, who knows, a twist of fate, some play here and there. No one can tell. Solitary is not loneliness. On family, that my mom and dad to be a happy retirees, my two nieces stay healthy, my elder sister and brother in law finish their specialization smoothly and remain lovely, my younger sister getting married end of the year and i wish her happy ever after, and for my younger brother, to be wiser as he age, and also happy in his way of life. On friends, nothing beats been able to catch up with friends and my kind wishes is always with them.
6. On world peace, this is such a huge word as if i have some control or say on it. I am making it as a member to this society and global citizens. I deter to terrorism, any form of mass killing, abuse of woman and children for the better of the future to our future generation. We should promote all inclusion and the path of moderation. The middle way. It is perhaps people are over indulged, drifted in their own world, not awaken, that contributed to the act of terror harming the harmony and peace. Holding our horses, postponing our urge for instant gratification, been mindfulness of our actions and thoughts, humility and greater understanding will help us through avoiding another world war.
7. A New Year, and may this be another eventful, memorable and a GREAT year~