When 'Good Bye' Gone Eternal

Memory that once thought long forgotten resurfaced;
Feeling that once buried deep down reappeared.
It's amazing to see how things had changed, how fast it happened.
It's hard to imagine, even harder to accept certain incidents.
It feels like Déjà vu , but it's real;
It feels like a Dream, but it's real.

Tears was running down from time to time,
Perhaps the reserve is full, or maybe something triggers it.
For which GoodBye means eternal separation.
Hence the rain fall like never before,
It might be temporary, but it's for real;
It might be emotional, but it's for real.

Deep in memory trace, filled with fun, warm-hearted feeling and happiness,
Together with worries, sadness and rejection.
It's a process that we had been through, a path we had travelled.
Though the path might come into an end ;I pray for it's continuation,
Though it might mean nothing in the end; I still chose to preserve it.

Try my best to remember this White Christmas; every details & every feeling,
For it is white as the snow; as much as i try to hold but it never stays.
Try my best from thinking of you; your laughter & your smiles,
For it once was my sunshine; keeping me warm but i once got burnt.

Nothing is eternal, we are in the state of impermanence.
Dear God, do i stand a chance of exception?
To conserve what i wish; for as long as i want,
To own what i want; under your mercy and compassion.

Who can show me the lighted path; to where i should sail my boat?
Maybe only the compass in the heart knew;
Where the boat should sails and which port to dock;

Who can solve this messy puzzle; to where i should find the missing piece?
Maybe only the thinking box knew;
A bit of twist and turn the puzzle is solved, it's how i look at it, no missing piece.

i-banana in grive

KEMAN 12 - Framed in the Box called Memory

1. Due to the very happening and busy working schedule before and after the camp, i have to delay in writing my opinion and thoughts about the camp.
2. I was back in Peninsular on the 2nd December, reporting to office on 3rd December then went into the Jugra, Banting Camp site in the same night.
3. Preparation work is slightly messy i would say, but there's no harm done. I used to say," It's like that, there's the way it should and will be done." As long as the expectation is not too high, i don't think the camp will go very very wrong.
4. Friday morning is a nervy one as we were awaiting for the arrival of the students. This had reminded me of the feeling when i was a PM in UM awaiting for the freshies around the country for the orientation week.
5. All 7 courses went on smoothly, some had good reception from the floor, some are very boring. The one that had caught my attention discussed about chinese school, about blogger's right and also the environment awareness forum.
6. Is SRJK school a hindrace for national unity? The speaker, a chinese educationist, said it's not. A Fair and Just implimentation of government policy will be the one that responsible for national unity. He reminded us that, the reality where all of us can speak mandarin, read chinese and have chinese school, is not merely by chance. It was a result after many years of struggle, hard fought earned opportunity; for the chinese school will not have the same ending like english school in Malaysia. I very much appreciated that.
7. The session with Prof Azmi and Hishamuddin Rais was a fun one. Very frank and very truthful. I felt no matter who you want to complain or condemn BN or PR, we need a two party system in this country. For a fairer, equal and constructive ways in drafting and implimenting government policy. The rights of all Malaysians will then be taken care of; regardless of the colour, ethics and religion of the people of Malaysia for the better of the country.
8. The session that gave me the greater impact was the one discussing about the awareness on environment issues. The speaker told us that we are the most important generation in this era. I felt many don't understand what's the reason behind, they might thought because they are elite, smarter or more capable then generation before. Sadly, the reason behind it was, the time has come where we, the future generation have to do something to save the planet. Seawater level is ever increasing, global warming, the environment issue is in the hot seat. It's down to us, the "most important" generation of this era to really put things together and do something to conserve the environment.
9. Many undergraduates do not know how serious is the issue, each having their own agenda in life and no one actually have time to stop and think of these things. I am glad some of them had show concern and interest in it. Our aim of having this slots is to instill the awareness and sense of urgency among the undergraduate, i.e. the most improtant generation in this era. Let's work together to reduce, reuse and recycle our resources. First of all, start with no littering and save on electricity and water usage whenever possible. To reduce the usage, try reuse paper bags or bottle whenever possible and finally always recycle waste like paper, aluminium cans, and glass bottle. Be a civic minded citizen.
10. The aim of this camp is to provide a platform for students to interact. Maybe the camp fall short in this, as we do not have much time for students to carry out their own discussion. Personally i felt, this kind of sharing and discussion session will have more efficient and greater impact.
11. The camp was filled with tonnes of valuable information but we have less bonding session. We failed to create the atmosphere allowing students to make friend, to know more about each other, sharing different stories coming from various backgrounds. It's a waste of chance as we seldom have so many undergraduates all over the country that comes together in the camp but distance at heart.
12. Nevertheless, we had done quite well to a certain extend. I would say it's not too good but fair. As a committee member, i am proud to be part of the team. Each of us who have our very own commitment yet we still contribute to make this event a success. I was a bit envy of the facillitators, they actually make more friends and more impact on the students.
13. Hopefully the students find this camp informative and interesting. My wish is for them to have their own thinking and points, to think independently but with conscious and facts. Learn to look and analyze things from various angle and of course to walk the talk. Always remember, action speaks louder than words.

New Area, New Environment, New Experience but an Old Me

1. Had been travelling to Lahad Datu for work from 23rd Nov - 2nd Dec & 8th Dec - 15th Dec.
2. Long 18 days in Sabah, spending the days will different people from different backgrounds, most are wiser and more experience than me.
3. This opportunity given by my company had enable me to understand and get some trials on the way to become a project engineer.
4. My main job task is to supervise and monitor the progress of Wastewater Treatment Plant installation. Also, to buy the necessary enabling the work to go smoothly.
5. Of course as a first timer the challenge that lies ahead is to learn how to deal with the client on site, the workers and also to make good and fast decision. One needs to be observant , to be able to see those that had been overlooked, to be able to foreseen the intended progress or any possible obstacles (which an outcome needs to be configure out).
6. It's also similar with organizing activity in university where we need to do human management, time management and also resources management. The difference is this time it will not be a mere activity but we meant business here.
7. Lahad Datu town with a mix population of Malays, Philipines, Indons, local Pri-bumi and chinese. What that had suprised me was some part of the town and the social standard of the town reminds me a lot of Cambodia.
8. Children walking around in the town selling illegal cigarettes, cheap beer everywhere, littering is so much an unsinful act there. Of course prostitution and beggars are easily found everywhere.
9. I felt the federal and also state government has not done enough to improve the living standards of the people there. The state has been economically and politically exploited. So much so as the saying " the rich get richer the poors got poorer."
10. Illegal immigrants are a big issues in Sabah. Many family with 2-3 generation of people living in Sabah are non-citizens. What's that really sad is to see those offsprings of the illegal immigrants borned with no identity, no rights, and no protection.
11. A total solution should be made to grant this problem a good ending. These people made up a vital labour force for the palm oil industry in Sabah. The goverment should look into it seriously, not by chasing and sending them away, but work out to allow those who had settled here ages ago a citizenship, granting rights like other Malaysians do.
12. It's a good exposure for me to be able to stay there long enough to observe the people and condition there. We needs to improve, Federal should extend more aids to this state.
13. About my work, i felt i have so much more to learn and apply. To be really contributing to
    the company and fulfilling my wish to be more mature and proliferate with my work.
14. Back to KL, back to ground zero. Facing the daily chores, challenges and problems that are pending for solution. Nevertheless, this trip enable me to take a break from myself.
15. Rejuvenated & Refresh.
16. Old Me but with New Mind.

Food for Thought

1) Sometimes in life, when i got too free, my mind will starts wondering here and there.

2) Today will be the day, i was thinking about the reason why we EAT. Why do we eat? Probably the answer everyone will be giving me is, because we are hungry or the food is too good to be missed.

3) Has anyone wonder why we eat something which is not nice neither we are hungry at that particular moment? There were many instances where i ate some food, just because the memory it can bring back for me. Regardless is a happy memory or sad memory, memory of our childhood or memory with someone special. It's special how our brain can recall something instantly when we come across some familiar situation. How we felt at that moment, what we were doing at that time and with who.

4) Nothing in this world can last eternally but only memory does. Though the memory will fade off one day, but we at least have had it and cherish it before.

So much of uncertainty,
so much of changes,
so much of turmoil.

Nothing is permanent,
not our promise nor our beliefs,
that it will be shaken,
and when anxiety and suspiciousness arises,
when doubts and speculation deepens,

What can holds us together now ?
Is it the memory and beliefs of the past?
or the anticipation and hope for the future?

There must be a light at the end of the tunnel ... ...
At least i chose to believe so ... ...

Perseverance!!!

1) In the world where a digital image is at 4-5mb, access to internet is just within a few clicks away, Friends are easily made via Live Chat, Facebook. Everything is happening so quick that if you are out of touch for just a single day, you might already been missing out.

2) As things are really moving fast around us, one tends to receive information and news really quick. Rumours, black mail, lies also comes in a package as a result of FAST moving 21st Century. We tend to face more mental challenge and social pressure nowadays as compared with olden days.

3) Our stand on certain issues, principle of life, beliefs are easily affected be it in a good way or vice versa. It's so much more fagile now owing to the revolution in the era of information and technology.

4) Of course, our belief, and principle of life must be firm yet flexible. It's just that, can we still find someone who defence their stand, their belief, regardless of those intense social pressure?

5) How many of us has actually long forgotten our principle of life, like never tell lies, never be late, never says bad things about others, or we have actually never have one? How many of us still have their belief stands tall, believing that people are kind in nature, the existence of Love among all human beings, believing our family/spouse/friends, believing in the long forgotten beliefs.

6) In the process of growing up, we knew Reality is never that Ideal. As we are facing the reality, we compromised on our dream, our beliefs and principles in most cases.

7) Broken promises, lies, Sabotaging, confusion, misunderstanding, fuming among people is so common nowadays. It's an action to protect oneself by hurting another one. The amplitude of usage is so high. People could get influence so easily, to use these to protect themselves.

8) History of mankind had been through revolution after another revolution, blooming and diminishing of civilization after another civilization. The power that drove this changes is the Strong belief in what the People wants to achieve. The strong Will Power that drives the force for changes and revolution.

9) How much does it worth now? To believe in what you believes in modern context.

10) Stand tall and grap firm on our beliefs. It's worth dying for; It's worth shedding every tears and blood. Do not short change ourselves for who we are and what we can achieve.

11) Recommending two songs; Van Fan- I Believe & Eason Chan- Gei2 Ni3 (For You)

Life of a Chordata

It was said that the memory of the fishes only lasted around 3-7 minutes. Some scientist claimed that in fact the fishes are smarter that birds, experiments had proven that fishes can remember the time where feed will be provided.

Perhaps that's the reason behind why the fishes kept eating the feed no matter how many times we fed them. They had forgotten that they had already eaten.

Is the "short-term' memory of the fishes consider a blessing or a curse?

Fishes will never know that they are living in a small aquarium, when they swim from one end to another end, they might have already forgotten the point where they had started. They surely had forgotten that once they were from the big oceania or huge streams in the rainforest.

Without the memory of the past, they always live in a state of 'Present'. That is what many of us, human beings who are way smarter, who had better and powerful brain than the fishes who failed to do so, to live in a state of 'Present'.

Bad, sad or frustrated memories of the past, which many of us failed to let go haunted us. Making us into situation where we are haunted by the past, struggling in the present, uncertain about the future. That's triple the negative effect we are actually facing. As days passes by, the burden of the mind kept on increasing. In some severe cases, the burden increased according to an exponential graph.

Let it go~~ Let it go~~ our heart is shouting loudly at us. " To forgive and to forget!" Said the wise man. A simple advice and simple logic; can we understand it and act towards it?

Been able to swim freely like a fish in a big ocean is not good enough, but also been as absent minded as the fish will do most of us good.

A "short-term" Memory is definitely a blessing in disguise for the fishes.

White Lotus and Your Life

Note: Flowers from Kek Lok Si Temple, Air Hitam, Penang

A sense of purity, clarity & calmness
a feeling of naturality, righteous & authentic.

Trouble-free, no worries,

Dancing birds in the sky,
Singing fishes in the sea.

Here borned the human beings,

with angel's hallow and flying wings.

Living on a blue planet,

the planet is sick with wars and pollution.

"Why angels behave in such a manner?"
sighed the old blue planet.

Is their nature good or evil?
Can the situation be reversed?

White lotus among the green gradens ... ...

The world needs more of this people.

i-banana
24-25 OCT 2009

Kem Kepimpinan Belia Nasional ke-12 (KEMAN-12)

1. Initially, the aim of joining as the committee member of this camp is only to serve as a my favourite past time. To collect back the pieces of memory of mine, of organizing activities back then in Uni days.


2. The chemistry in the committee was excellent. Many young working adult, termed as social freshman from UPM, UKM, UM and other universities forming the committee of KEMAN-12.
3. The similarity between us is, all are with experience in dealing and organizing activities. I would say most of us have a common interest, to be more aware of current issues, regardless is politics, economics, government policies or education issues. Also to contribute if possible. One example, during the site visit trip to Perak, one thing different from previous experience was, we read newspaper and magazine in the car rather than chit chatting non-sense and blasting lame jokes at each other. Of course, it might sound dull to some people, but we do have our serious discussion and sharing while enjoying some jokes and fun together. Just like normal youngsters that you can find on the streets, difference is, we talk and discuss things that seldom or never come across other people's mind (politics, economy or current issues).
4. Every since young, elders keep telling us that we are the master of the future, the future of the country lies in our hand. I was wondering at my age of 24 years old, how do i actually contribute the developing of the country? By spending (improve the econimics), cursing the government (improve the topics in mamak session), or by paying taxes and summons?
   
5. As we really drilling really hard on the preparation of KEMAN-12, i realised that this is in fact a very meaningful camp. It creates a plantform for undergraduates across the country to have dialogue and discussion, for undergraduates to meet and have sharing session with politicians, famous personalities from press, NGO, or independent journalist. This camp also served as a platform for undergraduates to make friends, in the meantime to know ourselves better in the process.
6. Interesting topics like, Malaysia Education System, Malaysian Culture, Saving The Environment, Social Issues like Social Security, and also Legistrative issues. This camp in fact will create a very special space and time, for young people with brilliant ideas and opinion, or even one with a lot of unsolved puzzle to come together.
7. As for me, i really hope with this camp will served as an eye opener, to widen the horizons of the participants. I wish that the participants will be able to interpret, analyse issues, and have their own independent and constructive points of view. We need to be aware of the issues that's happening around us. As the teenagers, the most important part of the Social Pyramid, WE NEED TO BE BETTER THAN THAT~
8. I am very anxious to see how participants react, when we discuss about National Unity, about the concept of ONE MALAYSIA. The undeniable truth is, it's not happening now, YET. After 52 years of singing Negaraku, we are still not holding the hands of our neighbours. It's sad to say that, awareness campaign, slogan or trying to interwine into the education system, all these do not yield any positive and constructive result. We only have more and more radical leaders that murdered the heart of True Malaysian Spirit.
9. The project 15Malaysia, aimed to promote something similar to One Malaysia concept. Personally i feel, this is another Awareness kind of thingy. Keman Camp will be another one with aim to promote the similar concept indirectly.
10. Ultimately, we still stuck at the awareness campaign, asking people to learn, understand and accept each other. What and how is the action? I keep asking myself. A lot of people has the awareness that for unity to happen, one has to accept each other in the first place. Sadly, most of us still stuck at the action phase. Sincerely, we should ask ourselves, " Have I really accept our differences with open heart?"
11. Question to ponder: To achieve the National Unity which part of below plays a role and what about their weightage?

a. Education Policy

b. Political Demographic

c. History of Malaysia

d. Social Influence (Family, Friends)

e. Other factors like Personal Experience

In order to achieve National Unity, there will be much more factors that we have to consider other than that listed above.

Every changes will have gains and sacrifices. Are you ready?

First Blog Post

1) Out of the blue, finally i have decided to convert thoughts into action.
2) Hopefully this will serve as a good platform for me to express my view and thoughts, sharing of moments of life.
3) Do - Be - Have ~

Cheers