一小聚

• 也太久没用中文书写部落格。这一次就特别想记录一下当下的心情。
•  上一次见面就大约是一年前，再往上推就是2013年一月在槟城。
• 在我部落格里就记录了2012年的古来游记。2012 Johor Trip ， 记录里说到上回与她到古来可要追叙到三年前。可没想到三年后又再次的专程到新山与她叙旧。无意间让我想起梁朝伟在无间道的台词：“三年之后又三年！”
• 去年见面时就已知道大家出乎意料的好谈，本想在这里也记录一番，但是我并不想刻意的去记录，因为我深信那记忆会在我的脑海萦绕好长的一段时间。这支当时喝的韩国酒的相片就一直储存在我的desktop留念。

• 这一年的光阴，人与事都改变了不少。非常珍惜当下，彼此还是那么的熟悉，可能还胜过当时还年轻的我们。真的是用心还是超强的记忆，当时的点点滴滴我们还是记忆犹新；我选择相信了前者。彼此的默契好像没有因为聚少离多而削薄，想法，观点甚至隐忧都相近。可能这太戏剧性了，但事实如此，上天可能是想找人开玩笑。
• 上次说我非常了解她，可这一次我倒觉得是对调了。这个年头能够真正了解并谅解自己的真的没有几/一个。太多人有太多的事，太多的客观与主观元素，要遇到这样的一个人，那是一种奢侈，是一种强求。我这条怪路总算遇到了她，希望再也不会那么的寥寂。但这话说了出来深怕哪天上天知晓了，可要剥夺掉所有的一切。
• 从来都不懂她会在乎么记得么觉得重要么，不懂到底是否自己太过蛋白愚昧。可能就只是一线之差，这边是笨蛋傻瓜，那边是真心真意。随着年纪的增长与未老先衰的脑袋，我了解到人生的短暂与无常。好多事好像是不能去苛求的，应该要尽力但求无愧。可能难度高了些，但唯有这样才不枉此生。
• 过去的一切，现在的所有，与将来的期望也就只有把握当下。看不开的过去，忧心着未知的未来，何不感激感恩当下。这是当天从飞机拍下的晨阳与云海，没有比现在更美的时候了，因为现在就是这个时候。与大家共勉之。
• 想起了一首歌-五月天 = OAOA现在就是永远。
• "OAOA是嬰兒的啼哭，是摩天輪的樣子，是太陽與山脈的形狀，是對著空谷的吶喊，是沒有語言的希望，是在風裡面寫下此刻自己的呼喊"~ 阿信
  

Christmas Carol

1. When i am much younger, i always thought that Christmas somehow is the best festival for me among all others. The atmosphere is calm and lovely, as compared to the hypes and excitement of Chinese New Year.
2. Despite not been a Christian, yet i very much enjoy this festival. My definition of Christmas is Chocolate + Nice Music + Singing (Carol) + Loving Atmosphere. All my favorite ingredients constituted to the Christmas.
3. Present exchange, is something very good, to ensure that each and everyone of us will at least have a present for ourselves. Sometime, we need to reward ourselves for all the effort for been a good boy and good girl. Haha~ more excuses to spoil ourselves.
4. In this materialistic world, present is measured by the face value rather than the real intrinsic value. The usefulness to the recipients, the message of the present by the giver, the kind wishes from them is just simply priceless. After all, i opined that the real reason for "gift" is giving, but not receiving. The act of "gifting" a present, is an act of reminding ourselves to be selfless and be present. Take some time off during this festive season, be with our family and friends, celebrate it, and be present.
5. If all we ever wanted is to have a happy life with the people that we care and love; then why at times our action and reaction are against our will ? Why the suffering if we wanted happiness ? To be knowledgeable and to be wise is two different thing ? Both required efforts and maybe a little bit of luck (been at the right place, right time, right family, but this is not a prerequisite) but the latter required more reflection and an awaken minds.  
6. Often times, we will grumble, criticize, sigh or contemplate about certain misfortune; All the "i" feeling, feeling worthless, dejected, sad, regretful, furious, giving up, surrender, not letting go something either is people or incident specific; all this can be overcome if we loose the "i" from the equation.
7. If there is no "i" then all this feelings will have no place to attach to. How to loose the "i" ? We will need to understand that " i " is not "me"; "me" is much greater and higher spiritually. Thinking about it, why do we always felt better and hopeful whenever we are been helpful and useful to the people in need ? All the selfless act of aiding the needy. The feel good feelings is all arises from the position of been selfless; there is no "i". And, immediately, as soon as we made some demand or reciprocal, we will have all the "i" feeling back. Notice the "i" from the whole suffering and happiness equation ? Yes, the key is, minus "i". 

A Cross Road

1. It's been 4 months since i submitted my master degree thesis. The change that i had been talking about yet to materialize. 
2. There are quite a handful of things that i am interested in pursuing and of course there is also some challenges and obstacles that i have to overcome.
3. I am teaching myself, and convincing myself that somehow, things will fall into place. My experience taught me that, too many things that already happened is not planned and cannot be planned. I can only be ready and open to opportunity as much as possible and strike when the door is open.
4. It will be interesting for me to note down what is in my mind now and then compares it 4-5 months later down the road.
5. The first option is working in the Biz Dev / Strategy / Marketing of a Large MNC preferably in Green Tech Industry. I will get to learn more and expand my horizon, experiencing another level of growth and witnessing good system at work. The main consideration is whether i can speak the MNC lingual, do i made the cut, and what will be the career progression from then onwards?
6. The second option is exploring career opportunity in Financial Analyst sector. I have quite a few interest and finance is one part of it. I guess as finance is largely link with economy and thus driving my strong interest and desire to learn. The main consideration is again on qualification and opportunity available. The market is bad, and among all industries, finance industries are the most "realistic", "number oriented" industry where everything is tune to the ROI, Breakeven analysis, Opportunity Cost whenever it comes to deciding on project or hiring.
7. The third option is to further my doctorate degree. The main question that bothers me now is, why doing it ? I like the intellectual exchange, the academic rigor as well as the enlightening moment. I enjoy the process of creating knowledge as well as the art of teaching and sharing, helping others to achieve certain level of intellectual awareness and critical thinking. Are these reasons enough to sustain my decision? Again, am i good enough to be given the opportunity to do it abroad? 
8. I can only pray for the best. I just kept telling myself that, here i have three options; perhaps it is not really something that i can demand for, or ask for. I can only anticipate, waiting for the opening of the door of opportunity. Haha, sometime circumstances shape our choices and our path. I am not denying the fact that we can work hard and get what we really wanted in life. It is just that; at times, we cannot amend or change the event of life that bound to happen, but rather such events that happened changes who we are.