Another Break from Myself

1. I always think that, going to work in outstation is like taking a break from myself. I can stop thinking of my problem, stop doing what i use to do, stop being myself.
2. I knew this is not a way to go, it's only a temporary solution, an escape which will not stop the rotting process.
3. I have no choice at times, to choose this way to escape, giving myself a room to breath, or mayb at least this is what i choose to believe and settle in.
4. I should be brave to face my problem, make the necessary changes and live to the fullness. Keep repeating these sentences probably will ease my problem a bit.
5. Feeling weak and helpless, hate this part of me and don't wish to appear weak in front of others. Guys must be tough, must be bold must not be emotional.
6. This Sabah trip will gonna be a hard one. Realise the importance of friend for me since a long time ago. Especially now working at outstation, the loneliness starts to bloom within me.But, i value the friendship too much to a degree where it actually starts to back fire.
7. Sometimes people do not treasure you equally, sometimes i have been asking for too much, sometimes the love is never just good enough. Because of such differences had caused so much of pain and sorrow in me.
8. Throughout the time as i grew older, i learn to protect myself, to not indulge and commit too much in a relationship, to learn to stay at a "save" distance from others. Nevertheless, i still very much commit and indulge myself to search for the relationship that i believed in.
9. Perhaps this is a never ending search, perhaps i will get wounded badly, i don't know how much longer i can sustain, but i still believe in it.