Kangaroo Land 9th June - 16th June 2018

1. This is my second visit to the land of Kangaroo. And ya, finally i get to see the famous Kangaroo, the Koala, the Wombat, Platypus all at Taronga Zoo. Sydney Opera House, the harbour bridge, my secret place in front of Hyatt Plaza never failed me with the charming and breath taking view.
2. Only my second visit albeit now at a much colder climate, the city is all too familiar for me. I had never thought that my trip back here is so soon. Everything seems familiar (train station, shopping center, eatery) and of course this time there is also new found jewel such as Paddy Market, The Star, Fisherman Market, nice Korean and Japanese Restaurant. How i miss the coastal walk and this time Rainbows decided to cameo few times together with DOUBLE RAINBOW~~ 
3. Something good going to happen i told myself as only my first and second day at Sydney i had witness the nature's miracle i.e. the Rainbows. Sometime if left unchecked, i am totally swallow up by my memory, immersed in the past and at another instance i got overwhelm with the present, the scenery, the weather and with her by my side. I never had a chance to tell her that, my safe place is no longer that special when she is not sitting by my side.
4. For me perhaps there are three main purposes for this trip. To witness her convocation, to spend time and cherish every moment with her and finally, hopefully i can steer clear on our relationship status. 
5. I am glad that i am blessed with a good memory and some commendable sense of direction. I knew my way around UNSW reasonably well. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to be part of her life, to join and witness the very moment of her doctorate convocation. For the very least it meant a lot to me regardless what others might said. Witnessing her journey, challenges, and suffering she had been through i am indeed very touched when her name was finally announced on the stage. Tears roll down as i look beyond the stage to see her carry the certificate. Hardly able to describe this feeling properly in words.
6. I understand as always, on her busy schedule and her priorities. For me our meetup is always about getting together and spending time together. Activities turn out to be not so important. Spending time to do some groceries, walking down the streets with her or even sitting quietly by her side already meant a lot to me.
7. It had been so many years as i recalled, between us. Using her favourite food and drinks can very much summed up the years; Super Ipoh Old Town White Coffee, Verbena Swiss Roll, Egg tart, Gu Wen Cha Chinese Herb Chicken, Carrot Cake, Ipoh Nam Heong White Coffee and toasted bread, and Ipoh Paper Wrapped Chicken, Baker Cottage Whole Meal Bun, Starbucks Coffee, McDonald Sausage McMuffin with Egg and Coffee with One pack of Sugar, Jin Xuan Dim Sum, KimChi Korean BBQ (Stone Pot) at Tropicana, Lei Cha (at Taman Megah Food Court), Salmon Sashimi (Not sure where in Singapore), Will&Co coffee, Black Star cakes, The Grounds, Yayoi and of course her mom's home cooked food.
8. No jokes. All these food used to be her favourite and some is still her favourite. There were just too many stories and memories trap within the food. 
9. I couldn't sleep well at Sydney despite that the capsule hotel is reasonably comfortable. Many dreamy night as i had been thinking a lot over the period. I have to admit on my weakness to throw the question at her, to ask for an answer, which i have no guts to face all this while. Somehow i think i knew the answer but i never wanted to face it. 
10. Yet, i am forced to, both by myself as well as some of my close friends who had knew about me and her, to get an answer. So that we can move on with our life be it together or not. I had no chance or rather i didn't create the chance to ask her. In the end i resort to plain text.
11. Somehow i can read her body language; the way she speaks to me this time around, not many photos and chatting together, less laughter from her all pointing otherwise but her reply to me still caught me hard and pain. I always think we are more than friends, more than good friends; not like a love birds, but rather like a family, someone close to my hearts despite the distances that kept us apart all these years.
12. The baggage collection seems like forever as i am waiting for her reply. The memory between us flashes through my mind and again my eyes became teary once more. I felt so lonely at that moment. My hearts almost felt like emptied and my mind is all blind. I thought i am already prepared for this moment, yet i failed miserably. All these years ... how much will i miss her ... her smile ... her laughter ... our memory ...
13. Is that Love ? Having to make sacrifices without asking for a return ? Or is that stupidity ? Sometime i wish to paint a good and great future together with her by my side. I dare not dream so much as the dream is too good to be true. As the sayings goes, the higher one hope, the deeper one fall. Guess not dreaming doesn't help me in falling deeply.
14. What is left for me? What about my life ?  How can i recover from this ? Can i still care for her like i use to do? Will she ignore and block me from her ? Does that mean an eternal good bye?
15. My mind cannot withstand such torture anymore. Despite the challenges to not think of her in the day time, the night time now seems even more cruel as all fall silence and the memory came and haunt me once more.
16. I felt like throwing my faithful books away when i am reading it, why i need to read now, no one will share the excitement of new found knowledge with me anymore ? This too shall passed, i kept telling myself, but yet, what if this will not passed and never be forgotten.
17. I am very appreciative towards the support i had received and the care i had from my fellow friends who already knew about this. Actually, it wasn't any big deal in the eyes of others. It is only a one-way love for that many years and it actually meant nothing comparatively with other relationship matters. Only i knew, how much she meant to me, how much i had loved her and now i need to align it back and re-build my life that used to put her as my center of attraction. 
18. Will i ever meet another someone who gave me such courage to love relentlessly and to love me all the same? To have such close connection and closeness in terms of thinking and chemistry ? Perhaps i am just asking too much. There could never be that someone. People have their agenda, and priorities. 
19. I lost my courage and i lost my strength now, in this episode of my life. Rainbows always signify something good will happen. My trip this time was blessed with many rainbows and even one Magnificent Double Rainbow. Perhaps Mr. Rainbow is pulling my leg this time.

New Malaysia

1. Merdeka is the malay translation for Independence. The victory of the Alliance of Hope, thrashing the behemoth (National Front) who had ruled the country ever since our independence in year 1957.
2. The recent triumph signified and very much demonstrated how a true democracy works in a country and society. It resemble a beacon of hope to many other countries and people from all walk of life to believe that a change at this magnitude is very much possible with perseverance and great determination.
3. The very first Reformasi (Reformation) sparks started way back in 1998 since the sacking of Anwar Ibrahim (De-facto Leader of People's Justice Party) from the post of Deputy Prime Minister and the subsequent jail term by the then Prime Minster Mahathir Mohamad. No logical human will ever predicted that Mahathir Mohamad, a nonagenarian at present will return to politic, to go against his former party (United Malays National Organisation), teaming up his former foes (Anwar, Kit Siang, Mat Sabu, Guan Eng), contesting under the umbrella of People's Justice Party.
4. The whole episode never short of the excitement that one can enjoy from the Hollywood blockbuster movie. On this historical date of 509 (9th May), the people decides and they grab it with both hand. On 510, history rewrite with a brand new page, a New Malaysia was borne.
5. From then on, many things starting to change and take place. New cabinet, new policies, uncovering previous scandals and reviewing mega projects approved by previous government. 
6. Suddenly the faces of opposition leaders are all now the leading government figure and their speeches are all live on national TV. Suddenly the once pro-government medias are all now changing their tunes to the new government that the people had elected. 
7. The changes happened swiftly. Everyone had a high hope and wanted a better Malaysia for ourselves and for the future generation. The patriotism is at a new high. Our country will only be better with a strong support from its citizens behind their back.
8. We wanted a government elected by the people, for the people. Finally Malaysia had great breakthrough from the very conundrum of National Front (huge historical baggage and overly dominant United Malays National Organisation) to a new chapter.
9. Lets hope this is only the beginning of the best of Malaysia and fellow Malaysians. Let us stand proud in the international stage. 
10. We need to fulfilled our duty and responsibility as a Malaysians which are long overdue. The National Principles are not only for show but rather guidelines with so much depth and insight.
11. Excerpt from https://www.malaysia.gov.my/public/cms/article/page/275/
    

    Rukun Negara

    Rukun Negara adalah ikrar pegangan negara yang dijadikan garis panduan dalam usaha membina negara dan bangsa Malaysia. Ia telah diisytiharkan pada 31 Ogos 1970 oleh Yang di-Pertuan Agong keempat. Ikrar Rukunegara adalah seperti berikut:
    "Bahawasanya, Negara kita Malaysia mendukung cita-cita hendak: Mencapai perpaduan yang lebih erat di kalangan seluruh masyarakatnya; memelihara satu cara hidup demokratik; mencipta satu masyarakat yang adil di mana kemakmuran negara akan dinikmati bersama secara adil dan saksama; menjamin satu cara yang liberal terhadap tradisi-tradisi kebudayaannya yang kaya dan berbagai corak; membina satu masyarakat progresif yang akan menggunakan sains dan teknologi moden.
    Maka kami rakyat Malaysia berikrar akan menumpukan seluruh tenaga dan usaha kami untuk mencapai cita-cita tersebut berdasarkan atas prinsip-prinsip yang berikut:
    • Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan 
    • Kesetiaan kepada Raja dan Negara 
    • Keluhuran Perlembagaan 
    • Kedaulatan Undang-Undang 
    • Kesopanan dan Kesusilaan

Malaysia General Election the 14th

1. 5 Years once, the hot topic of the town is back. Malaysia 14th General Election is back.
2. This time we have the usual National Front (Barisan Nasional) and Alliance of Hope (Pakatan Harapan). We have a rather special situation here where the opposition (Alliance of Hope) will be all contesting under one common flag of PKR (People's Justice Party) which such decision is a strategic move from Malaysian United Indigenous Party (Pribumi), Democratic Action Party (DAP), National Trust Party (Amanah, spin off from PAS-Malaysian Islamic Party).
3. The candidate for the top post, head of government, the Prime Minister is between Najib Razak (Incumbent Malaysia 6th Prime Minister; the son of Malaysia 2nd Prime Minister) and Mahathir Mohamad (Malaysia 4th Prime Minister). It is a rather refreshing situation where the long time rivalry between Mahathir and Anwar Ibrahim had reconciled, and focusing to bring down the government of Najib.
4. A quick history recalled we witnessed that in year 1999, Mahathir remained in power due to the Chinese support; in year 2004, the 5th Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi, successor to Mahathir had a landslide victory for the National Front as everyone was hoping for a better government post Mahathir-era which lasted for 22 years. In year 2008, a tsunami with no warning hit the National Front hard with the lost of 2/3 majority in the Lower House of the Parliament; and the change of state government in Kedah, Penang, Perak, Selangor and the usual Kelantan. The wind of change continue in the election of year 2013 with a mascot called " Ubah (Change) Bird " and slogan  that are striking to all the hearts of fellow Malaysians " Ini Kalilah" @ "This is the time". Yet the dream was dashed despite the then opposition called People Alliance won more than 50% popular vote but not able to form the new government (due to uneven distribution of voters in different districts).
5. Turning the focus to present day, the urge for a change, a new hope, a new breath into Malaysia is still cooking and the Alliance of Hope is hoping for the Malays (Majority ethics in Malaysia) to create a Malay Tsunami as the Chinese Tsunami (in 2008 and 2013) had failed to dethrone the National Front (in 2008 & 2013) who was in power ever since Malaysia achieved independence in 1957.
6. Ever since the Election Commission announced the voting day on a week day (Wednesday), we had witness the civic side of Malaysians, everyone vow to "Save the Country", buying bus/train/air tickets, car pooling, private organizations sponsoring tickers to their employees, AirAsia reduces air fares etc. Its rather touching to witness all Malaysians come to a common ground to carry out their duty to decide the future of their countries.
7. Who shall we vote for ? Who can bring our country to greater heights ? Who can help the minority, safe guard women and children ? Who can champion the rights of all Malaysians, regardless Malays, Chinese, Indians, or indigenous people ? Who can be fair and just in its policy and implementation for the common goods for all Malaysians?
8. Everyone will have their very own opinions and stand point. We may want to influence others to accept our opinion. Suddenly everyone are so opinionated, so emotional and so hype up to voice their concern and points in defending their choice of future.
9. Who can ever claim that their choices are absolutely right ? That whatever they claimed is 100% correct without any error. Who can assure that the government we elect will fulfill their promises and championing Malaysians welfare and rights ? We are all not fortune teller and we are all not too sure. Looking at the change of political landscape from foe to allies and back to foe. The change of standpoint from A to B and then to C and finally claiming they are been mistreated where medias are putting words into their mouth.
10. We are fortunate, my fellow X and Y (Millenniums) generation that we are can read and write. Learning new things and pen down our opinions. Nevertheless, we owe it to ourselves to develop our mental capacity, to be able to think conscience, to be analytical, to think.
11. I am truly grateful for all the civic awareness among us, the duty to vote, the need for everyone to understand politics and government policy. After 10 long years since the 1st wave of Tsunami, it is time for us to step up and grow the political maturity. To study and analyse the good and bad, to differentiate the right from the wrong, to listen the truth among the lies.
12. We owe it to ourselves and our future generation. A better Malaysia for our kids and grandchildren.
13. The vote is in our hand ? Who can serve us better? Who can bring future to our country ? The call is on us. Perhaps it is a very difficult choice. We are neither here nor there. But we need the political party to be aware that, we the people of Malaysia are mature enough to differentiate between a Jester and a true people representatives.

那些年~ 是完美的句点，还是一个璀璨的起点？

1. 美好的回忆，它是包袱还是推动力？可能本质上回忆并没有正面或负面。是我自己把价值观套了上去，美好的变质了？
2. 多愁善感的我本来对感情的处理并不好，毕竟是关乎到自己最重视，最靠近心里的事，怎么能够忍心去做任何伤害彼此的事呢？
3. 希望她好，难道也要自私点对自己好一点？没有两全齐美的方法吗？
4. 爱是否能够去支撑时间的考验，与他人的批判？多深多久的爱才是足够呢？单凭着爱，是否就足以能够越过种种生活的挑战？爱就是答案了吗？
5. 遇见了你，让我打从心底的去爱与包容。如果那份爱是没回报的，我无怨也无悔。
6. 至少我知道我生命有那么的一个你，让我无私的付出的你。
7. 生命之短暂让我明白什么是无常，我没后悔也没有遗憾了。
8. 谢谢你~

Reading - Learning - Doing - Meaning

1. I recalled in my younger days, around the age of 10 (Standard 4) i already very into reading different kinds of story books. Detective stories (something like Hardy Boys but in Chinese Version), Journey to the West, Three Kingdom and many more. There is this one particular story books from China, separated into 12 books each with different theme based on the Chinese Zodiac. Inside of each book there were many short stories that are very fascinating.
2. After i moved from Johor to Selangor, i was also very much immersed in reading. As i was school in a National Secondary School where the main medium is Malay language; there are limited chinese books in the library. I almost completed all the books (with interesting title) from the two shelves available.
3. My English was relatively poor as my basic is weak. I will have phobia whenever i need to speak, read or write in English. Many thanks to my tuition teacher Ms. Geetha (she hold a Master in TESL) who had so much of dedication in teaching me words by words, correcting every grammar mistakes in my essay, forcing me to read (at least newspaper excerpt) every week. Without her forceful will, i really wonder how i will end up now.
4. As my Dad used to operate coffee shop, i am required to help up from time to time. There is this one very kind and helpful uncle who asked me how old am i and whether i am in primary or secondary school?  Been raised up in Subang Jaya where almost everyone will speak English with any stranger that they bump into, its truly shameful that i didn't really know what is primary and secondary school (i was thirteen years old that time). 
5. That kind uncle is Uncle Sorthy. After learning about my poor state, he passed me a book called Treasure Island. I hardly able to read the book at all as all the words are foreign to me. Some of the words that i still remembered are "surrounded" "decided" which are all not comprehensible for me. At the end, uncle Sorthy gave up, or rather i gave up (so afraid to meet him after that).
6. Things change after i scored 7As1Bs in my PMR, i was in the top science stream class in my Form 4 (10th Grade). Most of the classmates are from the National Primary School and they speak English! Only my another friend Shing Wei and myself were from the Chinese Primary School. I learn it the hard way, from listening to them, starting by telling some simple joke with them and slowly it become all normal for me to converse in English in my Form 6 (12th Grade).
7. Things made a bigger term as i start my university life in a top local university. My English level was considered very good to my course mates, which indeed surprised me to a very large extent. From then on, my confidence are slowly building.
8. My first serious reading in English started with the famous Harry Potter series, Book 3, Prisoner of Azkaban, introduced by my cousin Grace Yong. That period coincide with the time i was in Form 4. I guess, environment push me to open up and start reading English Book. From then on, i had never missed this book series and i even queue up for 3 hours for the launching of The Order of Phoenix.
9. Looking back, i supposed all these had started since a young age and during my postgraduate studies, everything seems to fall into places seamlessly. I enjoy reading, studying new things, and i realized i can write, i love to made blog post once in blue moon to record my feelings, i love to write a long answer in my exam paper (i had to ask for paper every time in the exam).
10. Life after my postgraduate studies were not as entertaining. Despite changing a new working environment (similar industry), opportunity to explore and to learn is there but not good enough. More exposure is on how bigger organization works (meetings after meetings, calibrations, discussions, reporting, and finally decision). I realized such activity really does ooze out the last drip of any vitality left in me at times.
11. Everthing will have the peculiar part and the norm part. It was when the norm part got so large becoming something mundane, and monotonous that is when it start creating problem, well, at least for me. Learning become so little, and the resulting meaning from it also drops significantly. The only escape route is via some reading in the night, or some audio books when commuting to-and-fro between work place and home that i can garner some meaning which i deem essential and useful for me.
12. I wonder whether i can ever find something (work/job) that allows me to learn and finding the very meaning in my pursuit of life, pursuit of happiness. I know people will ask, why you read so much, why we need to learn so much, its all about doing it, making our action count.
13. My best guess, its all about accomplishment in life. Since young when we achieve something in life, we will get praises, approval and recognition from our parents and largely from the society. We wanted to achieve and to be successful. Perhaps we may had forgotten, the hard work behind all the success stories that we had all heard. The learning curve, the hardships and the sacrifices. It's not so easy to draw down the critical success factors into something so singularly express term such as passion, discipline, talent, opportunity, and maybe just lucky. We need combination of all of these, but at first we need to able to learn, to go deep in our search of knowledge, to be able to concentrate and stay focus.
14. It was through reading, learning, and doing something we deem important which we will find the very meaning we are all searching for, happiness.